Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.

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(972): View more from Texas

It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.

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(925): View more from California

Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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(518): View more from New York

i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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(204): View more from Manitoba

when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.

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