Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
