Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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