Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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