im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
