Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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