I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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