my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
