My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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