what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
