i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize