how can u be prego again
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
