So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
