I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
