I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
