I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
