ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
