Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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