I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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