Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize