RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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