I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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