I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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