Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
