Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
