I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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