You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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