Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
