I wish I could punch you in the face.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I sprained my soul last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
