so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
