All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's shark week go big or go home
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
