3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I puked a lego.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
