hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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