Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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