Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
