ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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