It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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