And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
