Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
