ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
