i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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