I want to have your abortion
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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