If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
