Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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