Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
