guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's shark week go big or go home
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
