I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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