i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
