what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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