She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I AM VODKA MAN
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
