ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize