pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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