Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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