i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
