WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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