Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
