No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
