I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's rum buckets o'clock
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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