Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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