I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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