He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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