Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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