It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
