well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
