He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
